VNTM:Public Announcement [ Anus Affirmation]

 On my 5th installment of VNTM [Vanitys.Nephew.Tawt.Me] I decided to divulge in a topic some people shamefully keep hidden.I for one want to glorify the subject,it's a bit eluded and nasty but I gravitate towards the latter and allowed myself to educate the clueless.

Clears throat* 

---BOTTOMS/ANAL LOVERS/DOGGYSTYLE PERFORMERS/SALAD TOSSERS...there's no shame in these sorts,raise your hand^. Now,the interpretation  of the anal setting variates between many of you guys & girls.Taking care and knowing your anus is a pivotal part of executing your purpose.I know nothing of the this sort(I'm not a bottom)...However,some of the same rules apply to ANYONE.Everyone has an ass and whether you get it plucked or not doesn't exile you from knowledge of its upkeep and informative premise.I candidly asked a few people that I know for sure are bottoms and a few tops about the different types of (assholes) they've come to encounter.These people (whom I wont give names) didn't  know that I was actually taking notes to contribute to this post.It was just a regular conversation between them & I about the many assortment of butt holes.

.DISCLAIMER:

I know this is a bit unorthodox and crass and if you feel a bit uneven or insulted about this post then politely remove yourself from reading.

 NOW...

with my imposing resources I've come to the conclusion that there are 6 different types of assholes:Powdered Donut,Glazed Donut,The Jelly Donut, Coconut Surprise,The Cheerio,Hula Hoop B.K.A The Olympic Rings & The Diamond Ring.

Let's dive in shall we....

POWDERED DONUT

These are the anuses that belong to the overcompensated bottom.They drown themselves with a pound of baby powder or some type of fragrant talc to keep them either fresh or dry.Depending on how large & hairy your ass is ,this powder will do nothing but dry up and form small powdered balls in the unknown crevices of your ass-that's not cute.It can get a bit tacky as well ,because on several occasions I've seen plenty of dudes with a white spot right in the center of their ass of their underwear when they sag their pants ,which poses the inquiry that their either smuggling cocaine in their ass or they powdered their cakes before leaving home.For others,powder can keep you indeed fresh and dry.But please wash that powder debris out of your muffin before someone decides to eat because no one wants this....

GLAZED DONUT

The glazed donut signifies the more damp of the assortment.These are the ones that saturate there asses with too much moisturizer.Through my resources,I've come to learn that you shouldn't apply any type of lotion to the inside of your ass unless it's mildly fragrant and or made from aloe.Some lotions may irritate the foreskin and most lotions (if you are hairy down there) can stick to the follicles of the hair even after you bathe which can develop an odor that is very disrespectful.These situations magnify in the more humid climates making your asshole a bit too wet...and I'm NOT talking about the wet that most tops like.So handle that bruh/

JELLY DONUT

Um...this is the more disturbing of the bunch,as you can probably tell by the image above.A jelly donut looks normal and generally satisfying on the surface but as you bite into it a gooey substance bursts in your mouth.Now,replace that donut with an ASS.........I don't think you'd like that same gesture.

No one likes a surprise down there.I like to call it a 'horrible celebration'.Clean yourselves people.NO blood,NO boo boo,NO ma'am.That is all.

 COCONUT SURPRISE

Ok,this particular assortment of hole is strictly based on opinions and preferences.I like to title it the Coconut Surprise.These are butts that inhabits a very endowed hairy prelude.I, for one am not a fan of the sort.However,there are some people who gravitate towards this type.They're more clarified as 'Bears'.I think one should keep this area shaven or to a minimal because it can interrupt a hygiene regime-you don't want debris getting caught in the depths of your hair.I know Lady Gaga promotes her hair but in these cases it shouldn't apply.But if you side with a lace front growing out your ass then by all means-go for it!

THE CHEERIO

Finally, a positive display of the assortment of anal debates.The cheerio is the asshole that rarely gets tampered with.It's tight ,right and prepared for the night.POP!

These are the ones that will grip your monster for all it's worth and have you moaning like the person you're boning should be moaning.It's a beautiful thing!

 THE HULA HOOP

This is the complete opposite of the previous type.In difference,these are the anuses that have NO walls.Unfortunately,the only walls that they do have are on Facebook.More applicable to the power bottom,these assholes are stretched with too many stamps on it's passport if you know what I mean.

It can also be signified as the 'Olympic Rings' seeing that there's so many of them, making it convenience likable to go around for everyone & anyone to wiggle themselves in it.

So if youre ever messing around with someone and your manhood is all too easily enveloped by their insides within a matter of seconds and you dont feel NO walls-politely EXIT>

Stay clear,you don't wanna fall into their abyss ,because more than likely 85% of your society already has.

THE DIAMOND RING

A diamond ring encrusted with all it's flawless multitude of rocks and galore should ignite a smile on anyone's face.However,those same rocks and encrustations inside of someone's ass cheeks will ignite nothing less that nausea and disgust.This is the most nastiest of the assortments in which I saved it's description for last.If you witness any substance of stubble,bumps or any kind of conspiracy in that area -please ABORT! Find yourself some reason to get the hell out of that section of his/her anatomy and politely excuse yourself.Thanks.

~o~

That concludes my lecture on the assortment of asses inner sanctums.

Again,if you felt incredibly disgusted and or indifferent about this post then allow yourself to pause,think and recollect because I for one do not care.It's all in fun.

SMILE :)