VNTM:What Type of Gay R You?

There's alot of us out there.All breeds from the same gentrified designer label induced cloth.Variations are interpreted thru thrusting attributes that only our society can muster.Can you decipher the mold? What type of Gay R you? Let's tip shall we....

[This isn't gospel,just a fun interpretation of the various demeanor's in today's gay culture.Don't take it seriously-unless you wish to.And I thank you.]

Scene Queen

You R the gay nightlife.Every party,every club,every new trendy setting- You are there! Saturated with social virus,you know everyone,you are outgoing to some and stuck up by others.The stars are your GPS to  party girl mode.You always sipping on something in the club and holding people up with your hugs.Bitch,get out my way!

Gym Bunny

You find your solace in the gym.Your body is the shit and you are captivated by all things pro healthy.Usually you frequent this gay haven because of the attention you get from other goers or you're compensating for something lack thereof (look below).You're the first one their at opening and the last one tipping at closing.It could be esteemed dedication or your infatuation with the locker room via the sauna.Yeah,I see you..
 /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////I'm Straight

Sure you are.Normally,these are the ones you have for one night ,stake your claim (behind others) and proceed on to the next.They don't kiss,nor do they wish to date and they usually have an alleged wife at home.Closeted is their claim and denying homosexuality is their game.After you FUCK THEM,feel free to giggle.Queen please!

Bi Bi Bi

Unlike the gay before,Bisexual males are a bit lenient when it comes to the term 'homosexual'.They tend to box their sexual preference in the Bi circumstance.Usually,they like more than the other (MEAT)...but they will never admit to it.They figure its a cushion to the sociological viewing of being just gay;when in doubt,I feel it's a sexual upgrade.Get you a piece!

Drag Queen

The flamboyant heel wearing,female garment rocking ,designer bag toting dragons of today are very whimsical and entertaining at the most.They usually endure alot of criticism and disdain from close minded individuals,I for one applaud their courage.To tip out in full faux estrogen illusions and hold your foundation drenched,lacefront topped head up high-I commend.HOWEVER,if you look like Left Eye's autopsy when you get up in then you may want to find another hobby cause I'll most def point and roast you, MAN!

DILF

Over 45 is now considered to be in correlation with the 'older kat'. In the gay status quo,these are the one's who already know what they want out of life and better yet out of another man.Their not hung up on all the confusion a youngster may inhabit into bed with them.They've been there,done all that. They grunt loudly when they ejaculate and they are not as energetic and pro-clubbing or other stereotypical youthful leisure activities.A nice day at home is equivalent to bliss for them.Get familiar,we'll all be in there clearance sneakers one day.

Twinkerbell

This particular domain is strictly for Caucasians unfortunately.The term 'twink' is usually signified with young,skinny and usually extravert,flamboyant beings.In my opinion,they are the ones that are sidelined with bimbo's.Kinda ditzy and full of semen.It's customary for the age bracket of 18-22.If you surpass this bracket then you may want to re-evaluate your plate because you need to be fed.

Suit & Tie Guy

Stuffy,pretentious,competitive,arrogant and extremely serious are just a few mentality traits  for the latter.This is the type of guy who puts work first and palpable leisure last.He's ALWAYS busy,ALWAYS eluding his workload into his personal life.He's very ambitious in being successful and somewhat of power player.Some of these aspects can be seen as positive illumination in life but sometimes leery in a companionship dynamic.The arrogance and power of being successful could harm the equivalency that most of us acquire in a union.If you like always being sub-par or in the lingering shadows of a pessimistic being then hooray for you.

Bear

Furry Monsters is a more explicable name.These are the hairy men that linger on the remnants of our setting.Their usually meaty(buff)GROWN MEN;I use that term strongly because these characters usually are aggressively masculine and intimidating (in my opinion) 25-5o y.o kats that refuse to wax,shave,Nair simply because their esteemed attribute is body hair-all over! Not my cup of vodka or tea,but if you're into lacefronts coming from every pore of your mates anatomy then please,feel free.Sweeps up hair.*

Missing JoBro

Jonas Brother reference.These are the holier than thou but seemingly sexual,shy but extremely outgoing,candid but covertly prepared,poised but goofy male that sprinkles likeness all around.Their the creme of the crop.I fathom them.Their a cool breed.If you are lucky enough to succumb an arousal in the same room as them then you too have been struck by their alluring lightning.Flash!

Pocket Gay

If you're familiar with 'Will & Grace' then you'd be aware of a Pocket Gay.These are not small people or insipid pods that you may think this name enlists.It's simply that one dude that you can call when you want....well-ANYTHING! They adore you,they are borderline obsessed with the breath you take.They'll put your fart in a shoebox and cherish it forever if allowed.Need some gas? call your pocket gay.Wanna go to the movies or dinner but don't want to spend your money?call your pocket gay.Want to release some pinned up stress and none of your other jump offs are in attendance? call your pocket gay.Their convenient,safe and at a dark corner of a bar near you!

Manther

I so hope I don't use this term when I get this age....Manther is the masculine version of what women call themselves after 4o-Panthers.These genre of gays are usually going through a mid-life crisis and saturate their worries with a new sporty car,revamping of the wardrobe and young boy toy (twink) and or cosmetic surgery.It's a phase that shouldn't last longer than 2 years.Otherwise,it could lead to suicide....I'm just sayin'. 

Drama Queen

This is for all the self-absorbed,narcissistic organisms that think this thing called life rotates around them.They fathom that they are the axis that carries all the weight,all the turmoil,all the happiness,all the work.Seemingly too busy on their own private spectrum,their worries attain to your exclusivity.I personally ignore these creatures.I have no area for them in my life-not today,not tonight,not tomorrow.

Always Online

Sigh| Now this is a personalized genre that I for one can relate to.This area is archived for the online pioneer.They are always available via the internet in various portals.Whether it be Skye,Twitter,Facebook or IM messaging ,their availability is within reach.Being somewhat of a technology vagabond,they can also alliterate all computer dynamics fluently.There are 2 ways to becoming knowledgeable of the incessant online raiders-One:they either have no life and find solace thru cyber communication and social venues.Two:they live on the internet for simple entertainment purposes-porn,chat,streaming video or movies,gossip forums,fashion,blogging,homework.I can personally claim the 2nd description.I'm saturated on my IP address.The internet has taken over television for me.My notebook stays plugged.Don't judge me.

Hot Mess

We all know the term-messy,hot ass mess,shitty mess.They all contain to a myriad of components.Being considered messy can stem out into alot of negative constructed attributes.Slutty mess is the one member out of any crew that sleeps with anything with a last name.Hot mess is the one that always channels a mess via personal appearance; whether it's their hygiene,clothing or grooming.Mess is what one try to avoid -gossip,secrets,lies,cheating,stealing,adultery.All of whom is sometimes frowned upon and ironically gravitated upon in our society.[Messy ass queens!] I can go on but I'm sure you get the nectar of what Messy is contrived to execute.

Student

These are the scholastic ones of the bunch hailing from all sorts of endogenous traits.Some are pushed as nerds,squares or smart asses.I for one are infatuated with these nerdy overachievers,extra-curricular taking,video game playing bookworms.They are somewhat of a challenge and can carry a decent favorable conversation unlike some idiots.The only thing you may have to watch out for is the constant tug-of-war of whose more dominant scholastically.They love to correct any verbal error or wrongdoing which can be a little flighty to some but for me it's all in the dynamic.

Frat Boy

A frat boy's stereotype ties back to the 'I'm Straight' ,Bi Bi Bi  & Gym Bunny coordinates.They too have a certain allure that some may find spellbinding. They are the beer chugging,football playing obnoxious testosterone saturated mofos that can be a hoot to hang around or a mess.

Gaymer

This falls in the same dorkish disposition as students or always online types.A gaymer is the epitome of a tech tranny.They live,breath,ejaculate to everything that composites with technology.X-box,Wii are there life.It's cute to me.Like I said before,whenever someone is passionate about something that I have no interest in then that signifies them as a nerd.Lol.However,they are very critical on all new video games and clueless as to the latest fashions.Meaning,that these poor souls cannot dress.But I always like a challenge.Makeover much?

Sk8r Boy

Avril boasted about this dude best.Rock & roll influenced,baggy cut off denim,Vans Ski or Lo Top ,messy hair,Tats and vagabond flavor.I,for one,love skate boys.They epitomize 'cool'.Their style is favorable and influenced in a way that I peak in admiration to.Pharell is a perfect example of the latter.He signifies that cool,demure,laid back demeanor that yells from the inside out.Get you a piece!

Like A Virgin

I saved the best for last.These gremlins promote abstinence,traditional 'no sex' values before getting to know someone or acclaim being a novice to 'kinkiness'-bitch please! They illustrated,wrote and distributed the blueprint and manual to the term.Do not believe that they haven't participated in sexual intercourse-they not only have, but probably with more than one person or parties.Their basically certified freaks.Fingerbang,muffin top,snowball,teabag,fist pump is all on their resume.Putting the term 'gent in the streets & freak in the sheets' is a understatement.They clap in church on Sunday and clap they ass Mon-Sat and Sunday nights after Sunday dinner & a fleet.POP!